safe safe la ..........................

love ??? care ?? hug ??????? afraid to open the heart to other d............ the pain still fresh

just coming back from center
if you ask me dare to start again now ? i can say not dare at all because it is really pain till now i still can feel it some time . really "pa pa" d........ that why people always say a good relationship can bring you to heaven but a bad can drag you to hell lo.......

feel complicated , the mouth always say forget but keep but the name on the prayer list . any way la..... friend also can pray ma...... also use this type of silly excuse for my own self . if god beside me i think i will get a big big slap till i cant wake .

just now my mood was very down , after viewing but i know non of my business and now is time to listen god voice . during pray and worship the tear keep fulfiling i know if i keep it the tear will drop d...... that momemt i silent my self just pray that have a calm spirit with me , a while later i feel much better d.... because how can i because of this type of thing destroy my pray and worship ?

say be friend ? but i think is hard d la....... any way i dont want use my own power any more because i want to let go d..... going to find back my beautiful smile soon . i feel up set for half a year d.... till all the people say i am my brother elder brother . what the =.= he is elder than me 5 yr le....
i look so old d?? may be because just read news paper it say that stress and unhappy increase the cell to dead . may be that why people say so :P dont care la.........

clear line ............................

stay away m

run away b e

think other a m

erase all d o

r

y

not because of this to drop any single of the tear d................... try too la...... :P
i think is ok
going to fulfill all my time to the maximum afraid the feeling loneliness very much !!!!

not every thing also can under control

no time for those thing any more , i got more serious thing to take care . every 1 have to walk their choose way alone .

i feel weird for my self , always brain less brain less pass every day . dont care happy or unhappy also forget easily , but just some part of the sweet memory still stuck in some way in my mind . the more i try to throw it out the more info poping out !!! what the hack ? i really got non thing to do mem ?? cant just fuxxing stay still for the better future ??

now just hope to see her new look that i can forget it d......... use the new thing to replace the old 1..... at least i wont love her any more . because all in my mind is old info , the new image will not bring me any more memory d........ hopefully la........

make my fuxxxxx mind clear now .............................. no girl wont die 1.......... i am just fuxxx 21yr , still have the long and bright path for me to carry on if god premise la..... because now day i feel that life is just that fuxxx short . all kind of disaster and accident , the nearest for me is my school 2 Air craft is down mean crash d....... lucky both a life !?? i feel that life is so fuxxx fragile just like a glass .

just cant close my eye

after watching a movie name nanny dairy !!!!

it make me feel that , ya may be you are rich enough to buy the whole world , buy can you paid for hapiness ??? no fuxx thing ?? because money cant reallly buy hapiness and the great feeling from the 1 u love

meet with some old friend

just now i meet with my secondary friend , last time we use to call gang of 4 . because same school same club lion dance club i miss that time always ride a bike go here and there , that time no 1 really dare to bully us because 4 of us come from very different background very rich till bottom class also have. that suddenly , my friend ask me : how are with your girlfriend ?? hai......... that moment i do feel down for a while but no point to scold him la.... because he don't i am single d....
so i tell me i no really want to talk bout this topic than he also know me well he change topic to his school life . but a while later come back with the relationship topic !!!! he say of course la..... who you are oh... now day people high class d ma.... get involve in the entertainment business always close with those super star what you can get for her d ?? LV ? MONEY ?? not even 1 you able to fulfil ah.....

he told me that he also just separate with a girl , but he seen pretty happy because he is he 1 that kick the girl away . ?He told me that the girl very " fan " always ask him what he doing now ? where are you ? just a month period time they break off d..... but in this short period of time he able to get the girl virginity ? what the hack??? KL girl so desperate mem?? he say no i want is her cheap only !!!! what the fxxx la..... u eat people d than u say those word a..... fuckxxr ah.........

but is true !!! just 1 month let sex involve your relationship mean gone d la........ he dont even know you but u having sex with him d...... for normal people also will think the girl is so horny , hai.... i also dont have the right to say other also la......... because i also not that good only... have a 4 yr relationship so what ?? in the end friend also cant do !! because awkward .


that day , i go to youth gathering after that got a big brother sharing message with us . his message is so good because we can see that many miracle thing happen in his life . first is been to local University with lower mark, 2 have a good job opportunity 3 is the best for me la..... he able have a girl friend for such long distance because he start relationship during UNI he study at johor and his girl friend at KL . that moment i feel pain because almost like my case but he say thank god because both of them strongly believe in god premise . he told us i yr maybe he just able to meet his girl friend 4 to 5 time only from starting is like that d...... that after he work the company sent him go over sea to Indian that time worst 1 yr maybe just can meet 2 to 3 times time pass so fast already 8 year they been together d..... that time because of more work load at Indian the time he come back or keep in touch with girlfriend less and less d.... than they do always quarrel for this thing till almost break up !!! wah 8 yr relationship break up ?? but this word bring me up , he say if the 1 is god want to give you as partner no 1 can taken her away so he just pray to god than after finish the indian project he come back married .

the moral value i the story remind me that believe in god !!! he know what suitable for you more than you do ......... and dont even try to start a relationship with some 1 different religion d.... because in the end just will get more and more hurt only !_! i afraid to that feeling d........... 1 times is enough for me d............. i got no more tear to drop d..........