am i very cruel ?....................

i hope so, than my tear wont drop any more.

now day, really every thing i also will link to her ,
from elantra car till my living room sofa ,
all also can link ,
the most gao li 1......,
is my mother , keep on asking how are she r ,
she this she that ,
that moment my tear almost fall again,
luck i walk away d, if not another rain fall will come .

a week later , i also dont what will really happen .

pray day1

i still crying !_! .................... i just make a deal with god , i ask it is god want me to learn some thing in this ?
than i make the most pain prayer , i say if god think she is my ms right please do keep her niver and build up her nicely and return to me un the future , but if she not my ms right please god take away and please do cure my heart and stop my tear and bleeding ...............................

i dont what to do any more , just waiting for god answer i belief father will make the best choice for me .............................

within this week i will keep praying till i get the answer , this time i want my every single drop of tear is meaningful ............ i cant share to to any body d........... i scare i become crazy , that why i write down all in my mind here good for me to read back next time with other point of looking !

f o r g e t me ....................?????

this week i try to pray hardly, i dont want keep on happen the same thing d.........
i know when the first time she ask for break , she do mean that d.........just my self cant accept it only.

now dont care how many tear i drop no 1 will border any more , first her parent not really like me than we date have to date till like underground relationship . i feel sad , currently i know if i just together with her back not 1 week later sure will break again , because i know some thing is when wrong d........ i dont what that .?? she change d or what i dont know???

but now i try my best to release my hand , let god be the final decider for me d................ i dont want keep thinking of her and cant do any thing , it will just make her feel sad and hate me more and more only ........................

now day , i feel that my tear is so cheap . till i listen to some the song that she love my tear will start fulfill or can say almost every thing i also can link to her , because till how also 4 yr relationship even though is never meet 365days per yr but when study time we do really meet most the time always pass the sweet time together .

but after she when to study d, all thing change ........... i know every should grow up and go forward as well i cant still want her become the bebe i know . now i dont really belief any body d........ all the promise for me is meaningless because most of the promise is cant become true 1...........

cry and cry and still cry ............. ya do make me feel much better d................ please god !!!! carry my hand go though this together with me . i want the blessing like my brother in the end .they do married in the name of GOD .i dont want because i fell bored than do "wrong thing " that type of married !!!!!!!!! na............. i dont care d la................ i just pray only la.........
i want answer 1 ah.................... thank you god