damn !!!!!! satan !!!

his most power trick LOVE !!!!!!!! i belief that no 1 can escape form this !!!! but it also mean that if this time it cant kill you he is just make you stronger .


few friend and my lovely sis angkat end the long relation this year , all starting just like me like the whole world is going to end this not good that not good !!!!!! what to do ! we lost the war ma..... is time to paid the debt.



have to believe that my HOLY FATHER is more greater than that ................
HE is the Creator , HE got HIS own timing that we will never understand !!!!

that is how stupid we are !!! giving you pound but we keep holding the rupee T.T

thunder storm rain again

got the feeling want to run out of the house and play under the rain !!!!! i think the cool thunder storm rain should make my mind clean .

calm down d....................................................... back to the realistic d...... don't care that i want or not i have to . any small error will cause me a heavy price .( my life )

not going to play a fool with the weather , i just got i engine not other just like my life that will never never take 2 of my life .

the clock is counting on , it will always move forward even i wish it can go backward .! but i know that is impossible !!!!

ZZZZzZZZZ

have a good sweet dream is a blessing ! but i think not tonight ! many thing poping here and there !!



always told my self a better future is waiting for me !!! tomorrow will be fine ! heh eh eh eh i miss chocolate taste .

during eating i feel slight better . at least it can bluf my mind for few second before back to the realistic . if continue like that for sure i will be FAi CHAI d............

still got many thing stuck in my head

the sisa sisa still around me ! it is really have to delete burn trow it all ?? if do also for product .
how to delete the mentality problem !!!

it is got any way to reformat my mind ?

i feel no joy at all , even flying !!! now what i hope is faster finish the hour start working and focus on working and maximise my time on work . as a painkiller , at least some thing !!!

Rather than eat slep fly play ................

i am really really lost ? trying this and that to overcome the loneliness !!!
starting dont how to use the mouth to communicate with other d....... all chatting by mail or sms .


up grade to smoker , but i think no continue because it does not help me reduce stress just bring headache only .

almost cant see tomorrow sunrise

today flying i will never forget !! T.T really scare me off ~!!!!!

like usual i take off the black dark cloud already at the south , i estimate it wont come so fast but!!!!! just right after time that i take off from runway 16 . the weather reach the air field d........
i still ignore it because i just like a small "cow " that never meet the tiger before !!! dont no how to write the DEAD word. i continue flying , than i hear RT from my instructor he also just take off i am right after him , he request to land than 1 minute later he give advise to all cadet to land asap .

the first thing in my mind , i feel piss because i just take off than have to land d!!!!!! what la...??!?!?! but after i hear another RT from airasia a huge airbus 320 request hold at the runway to check the weather radar !!!! i cant imaging a huge jet that like 10 or 20 times bigger than my aircraft refuse to take off and hold to check the weather radar !!!!!! i belief that their weather radar sure already show colourful picture showing the thunder storm coming !!!!

that moment i was blank la..... still dont fell the danger yet !! but when the time i land the air craft and get back into the car the heavy rain fall follow by the lighting .!!!!!!!!!!!! that moment i really feel glad that i on ground d............. that time what he want to scold i also never mind d.... because he do save my life !!!!!!

i cant imaging if i ignore the instruction continue flying , and the rain fall or strike by the lighting i think that it la... my pilot life!!! because the TSRN thunder storm rain really scary .
i drive also cant see the road clearly , even it just last for 10minute than it past but i cant promise that the 10minute i will be safe on the air .


if my engine down , that it d................ no more second engine for me d............ what i can do is pray than find a nice place to close my eye ! thank God i still a life .


now day , the weather changing is faster than the girl emotion . so hard to estimate d.........