nowadays everything looks so nice and smooth , just like last time but don't why my brain will keep recall back the unhappy moment , because now day my memory with her since stop at July for those sad memory , and pretty litter sweet memory d. i really feel lost and feel that both of us it is come from a different world 1 lo......
WHO am I ? i am just an ordinary restaurant owner son ,what make me so special that can accept the relationship from a well family only daughter ? I always ask my self who am I ? do i deserve to be love from her men???? i still can bring happiness to her men??my confident is losing day by day.because we mostly communicate on text that mean the word is been thinking and plan so it cant mean any thing !!! Actually till now i have no idea why she will choices me??
:( every time think back the separate time , my heart really sad and feel it bleeding inside feel hopeless because it come too sudden.
i will feel that is because some of the girl friend around me also facing this problem they feel like other guy d....but not sure that guy look them anot so they will hold the relationship till they establish the new relationship than they will start to release they hand let go every thing . that time is no point for begging together back , because the heart does not belong to you any more.
due ti that situation happen around me , i become afraid to giving the love and care d.... i afraid to invest more love d because i know the more i invest the more pain i will receive if break !!!
i have o confident to my own any more i feel just like she will leaving me any time only even throughout now she still very care bout me , but after 1 more year she enter college the more choice and more compared will form.
feel sad and down because i dont understand her any more . parent issue distance issue i already bored for those excuse as well because if she can fly over other state and stay there for some job why not me ? ya i feel happy for her , but not for the job, i do feel heart pain when hear she say she have to work till early morning and bite by those insect.
i hate my self, for my family other people see from the surface every thing was good and nice , rich and happy because i get what i want can study pilot and having this and that , but actually i am same as my sister both of us since we young already feel left out from parent , i rarely feel love in my family because both of them was so busy with they work . ans that create my personality because i feel inferiority that why i go study pilot , at least in the future i earn big money and some respect as well . the world is really sick d..... every 1 is crazy for the money and power i accept the world rule and i belief i can win this game .
