feel complicated to my self...........................

i know my self , but i dont her any more d........ what i hoping is just like i always say just a dream that hardly come true ....................... hai.......... hard 1 la........... distance and now start dont belief each other d..... how can the relationship to be carry on if she dont trust my any more ??

now also like that d, if i work worst thing will happen la........ fly over sea only i have to report my self where la what i doing la........... confident a bit la............. when i do some thing stupid that ?? what i did that hurt you and make you feel so uncomfortable la.....................

for me i get emotional easily , and for her i think she really think i will call her parent and tell some thing stupid , come on la........ she really think i will make the call !!!! so silly , i say that is just make her wake !! especially when she in high and drunk ........... that is i dont like to hear the voice like that , after i say i call only she will wake up and alert on the spot lo........


feel sad when facing her have to act happy .................... become clown like that always have a smilling face but the tear is always inside the mask

finish flying........................

today the whole day , i keep looking at the phone see got message come anot finally non message come . i feel much better d......... :( clean up my mind......... i know no chance d........... just stay focus on my exam d........... friend ? non make sense for me ! feel hard feeling only ............. now plan to just care her inside my heart only ............................ i wont do any thing d.........
i call her only for sure she will cry , better i just silent my self .

i dont want her because of me this silly small gas guy unhappy any more , i rather take all the pain by my own d..........

i cant belief that my car , proton can go that fast . surprise me that just now i can cruise at 160km/hr . i think the car can go faster than that but i feel scare when i notice i already pass 150km/hr lucky non thing happen to me , and along the way i cross 3 red light because stupid light without sense i dont feel like waiting d....... just press the oil speed up, during that when i over take 1 car by maintaining 150km/hr than i saw a police petrol car beside me. at that moment i feel shit d...... sure will come after me d....... but my mood down till dont care d... i just press harder and increase the speed to 160 i think the police also lazy to chase me d la..... because late d... 3am d ma..........


after that i feel tired and much better d..........
dont try this on the road is danger

love is just like fire.............................

why i say so?

because is true ! love really like fire ,

a good love can support you , like a fire that can keep you warm,

but ,

a bad love can kill you , just like a wild fire and burn and destroy every thing ,

in the world no love is prefect , just like fire you cant really change the shape of it ,

sweet,

love can be sweet , it also can be like fire if you not careful will may get hurt,

combination,

love =sacrifice + care , fire = air + fuel without the air fire wont appear

no scrifice there is no love inside

since what i do is meaning lesss...................

i choose to release d, even thought feel hard and sad . but i think if i being like a trouble maker keep creating trouble i think she will feel more sad only.

and if i keep dragging her is no point also , my love and care wont follow the Tran 1....... that is not such thing that call whole sale love......... till i can feel i am so fucking cheap till almost can tolerate every thing d.......

just feel that she leaving like that , actually good for me d, because at least she try to make some stupid excuse to cover the true . any thing la ? just feel sad and mood down . i hope after my flight test i will feel much better and i think i will start take out all the picture that on my wall it just make me feel sad and uncomfortable d....... the function of the photo change d...... last time when study dont care how stress i am when thinking of my family and her and the future life i walk thought all the hard part d....... but now :( the photo do bring me some happy but less and less d...... because all the photo that take is last last time 1.......

all the latest photo all can even wash out 1....... sensitive an i dont even will post it out . but last Saturdays i do feel enjoy when together wit her . but every time is like that after feeding me the sweet sugar the hardness and bitter drug will come and when it come my whole body is effected till cant really run my normal life . now day i try to act i am fine , but i know i not !! because still bleeding inside hope the time wash out my blood and cure my wound soon . and stop hoping can hug her tightly feel the body warm any more d.....



cry wont help me this time , so choose to go speeding now......................