just finish home church............... not that usual...!_!

today like usual i cook two meal , 1 is simple another 1 is creative meal again.......... because normally i dont get the picture what i want to cook ? but i will feel enjoy go to super market buy allot of vegetable than reach home during wash the vege of idea will pops out ........ just like today , first i start cutting the corn than after pumpkin .

just now during cooking is so danger and suprice , because my ....................

!_! not even finish a little happy blog , i cry d.......... because get scold from mother. get a long and heavy scold. i know is my fault too but it is have to keep firing on me for more than 15min????
ya after cooking never clean the whole kictcher is my fault !!! just now i stop at because is actually my blower spoil d.... so the smell and smoke cant really get the fuxx out of the kitchen..... so i use the news paper to cover the place , than the fuxxx thing happen d.... the bleeding news paper get fire and i take it and throw to the floor to stop the fire . after that , i do mop the place and some of the place but fuxx la...... still got some stuck in between the sauce bottle that moment i been fucxx to the max............. imaging my mood was so fuxx happy because preparing the tomorrow lunch for mummy and aunty . i just online search the recipe of mash potato not even finish i been boom till cry here and there d....... mum say : why every time also come our home gathering got no other house to go ah??? what the point that you shout at me ??? is brother ideal what ?? i also last minute know that , if you not happy with that just tell him la......... why firing me >????? stupid tear cant stop keep dropping .........................

just finish all the ingredient for tomorrow but dont know whether tomorrow still got the mood and dare to cook d........... all my inspiration for the meal gone !!!!!!!!! is all gone just like the tear dropping on the floor .


not really feel wanted to stay here any more, feel want to go back hostel d................... at least a place really for me..!_! i think i come back too fuxxxxx long d....... is time for me to move my ass to the place that belong to me d....... even just a small and tiny room . MY ROOM , i d feel happy for it d !_! .

thank god my feeling calm down d.....

i feel much better d..... thank for the care .......

back to work

current feeling after quarrel.........................

27/01/2010 after this incident i dont think i will follow his car any more , damn you la..... i drive my own car enjoy your sweet time forever la....... feel more freedom can talk what ever i want to talk do what ever i want to do......... sit your car so many restriction , by the way the car in no under you name . you you using it that you treat it as yours only just like the room every time room messy sure is my fault if you fault than just reply me (this is my room ) fine........
feel like going back johor hostel , there at least i got very tiny room at least all thing is belong to me........ i want sleep eat drink also can no 1 will scold me ................... my house is sick lack of room lack of communication lack of love ....................................... !_! may be currently too angry and sad because thinking back cause the tear keep fulfilling but i stand it before light off .


angry piss frustrated sad feel to cry moody all come together


praying soon to lower down the anger ............. but a hurt mark is there d..... just recover that now bleeding again.......... no point to cry infront of him make my self down !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

fuxxx youla.........

just now in the car , me and my brother and his girlfriend . during back , the girl friend sit behind than i also sitting in front lo..... after that my brother use a very begging sound ask the girl would like to out dating ma??? than the girl say dont want la... late d.... i call you when reach home is that ok for you , than suddenly he ask again and showing his hand to the girl . that moment i feel damn awkward than i cant stand d... i pop out my feeling i say hello dont treat i am not exist ok...... than the car become so silent and than when reach home . my brother tell me that " you dont talk no 1 will think you are dumb person " fine ........ as you like ......... he say what wrong with me ??? he say : if i dont care bout your feeling at first i already sent you back than e both go datting d..... what the hxxx if the girl say yes you think you wont do that mem ??? say till your self so good like that ... :PPPPPPPPPPP you la............. big brother so what ??? got girl friend so what ???? you think you so good are???????


feeling pisss till the max but not crying because i dont want to drop my tear infront of him >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>. so choose to drop inside here...........!_!