non stop thinking .........

2pm , i write this during my flight briefing . so fast 4pm d..... during briefing i ant even concentrate on it. my mind i know is already far far away from my body as well.

but Monday having flight test, for now my current mood and performance i think is really danger and hard for me to focus on the test d...... the tear level is keep fulfilling . it sound like will flow it out any time . but i cant , because in the class the feeling is really hard to express !!! is really sad and lost till no a suitable word can describe .

i been moody for the whole day, speak less and moody till my friend also ask me any thing happen ? i know is abnormal if i am speak less . i really dont why for what reason i still keeping her on my mind ? i really dont know what she is thinking ? for me she should feel happy what because break as her wish d..... but she is another way round she feel unhappy and crying !!!!!!! what she want ? can she call me and tell me that she love with other guy and very sorry for me i think i will fell much better after hearing that !!! at least that time i can really just focus angry her and dont think and hope the relationship will be better d.... at last i know not my problem and my fault .


i just dont know how can she do this to me ? always tell other miss and love me!!!!!!!!! but another way round will ask break and separate with me??? and keep doing the thing i dont like and keep hurting me........................................................ i dont like mean i dont like dont try to quarrel and change me . i dont like clubbing mean dont like , i not dont like is i hate clubbing i hate those bring her in also i wont even talk to them any more . because for me she is so silly and can say stupid easily belief on other people. she think drunk will feel better like the drama . dont be stupid la all is drama in the real life day after the fuxx thing stil at there waiting for you .



i will say that , is because she tell me she try to run away from the house before ? for me is what the hell are you thinking??? you think u can survive ? and that time she say she feel want to die , seriously angry and pis off to the max when i hear that my heart is so pain and worry . if i beside her may be i will really give her a big slap or throw her into the pool to make her cool down than only i will hug and talk .

i always dont like she ding this and that got my reason , my cousin is 16age only become mother d..... because she run away with some guys . giving free sex to survive now till dont who is the father of the baby and also dont dare to go to hospital . what wrong with this world d????????
i dont feel shame to share , at least i hope those reads this please do protect your self as well if having sex please do wearing condom the baby is innocent.