生日快樂

再过20min ， 大马53岁了。我的干姐也22了， 人越大生日变得更无奈又多一支蜡烛了。 刚才，有个朋友告诉我她以买了我的生日礼物是不是快了点呢？连我自己都还没想过要什么？？

突然有个想法我想有买“微笑和快乐”那里有的卖？我好像很久都没从心里笑出来了。现下我的微笑都很短暂有点更是酒精的作祟，我想应该有很多人羡慕我吧！！ 害！！！！！ 你看我好我看你好罢了。

你记得几个人的生日？？ 我觉得我还蛮失败的。应为就连家人的生日我都不是很肯定！！ 朋友就不用说了！好无聊！！ 每天用钱按钱，务口里的钱越来越少想去打工但我做的什么？？ 这里的工钱少得可怜车油都去了一半了。

sien......................................

clown ??

am i ?? may be yes may be not !!! in statement or fact . a place that having jazz or my self you Will hardly find silent !! i dont know why ? i just cant control my self to being nice . i will try any thing to heat up the party , in some body mind i am dumn or clown that always do silly thing .

just now i had a W-vision friend gathering at newway city square . at first make it clear i really not good in singing but since they plan to meet up at the ktv i have no choice rather than sing it out !!! like i mention early i not a good singer , by the time i sing sound like talking . hope they dont mind i polluted their ear hahaha .

i cant believe that the song that i know is really lesses then i though !!! in the end i sing all the girl song SHE . i will never forget why i will know those song !!! because last time some 1 really like them , and i never been so hard working to study and momorise those lyrics . but the lastest SHE song sorry la..... 1 also dont know ah........

who is in the house ???? jazz man...... so what >??? lets make some noise !!!!! 1 of the girl really good in singing almost like my sister or brother so good in singing !! i have no idea why i cant sing well like them >>>>???? but never mind i have another way of expression.

suddenly a waitress came in for cleaning the table for us , than i just play play say repeat what she mention just now . i say sorry excuse me for while to clean up the table for u all heheh , shit !!! she pass by behind me that time !!! what a shame !! @.@ hai what even la..... just smile back to over come the shame .

so fast almost come to year end d......... but i still stuck in this FXXX school , and the idiot CFI that doest like me !!! Fuxxxxxxx student that have background than you scare and respect like me than u bully mother fuxxxxxxxxxxxx . i dont know how he feel by having a title as " acting CFI " i am serious his title in the card is acting CFI because he also fresh graduate from the twin only !!!! and below him all the captain at least having few thousand flying hour !! not like him less than 1000hr .

bored night with little alcohol in my blood stream

the head pain till like want burst d...........

after drinking , feel damn full and slightly headache .

just now i with hai yap amlan out for a drink after dinner , but those ugly PR screw up our mood !!!! is damn uncomfortable and awkward than we want to chat but those girl are keep sitting beside you looking at you or drinking with you . in sense of pity we buy them a drink just to stop them to go near us !!! some more most of them are from china !! i really dont how much they can earn but i think quit allot but is really no easy to earn this type of money .

what pilot do when off duty ?? drink ? other that ?? smoking ??
i have no idea man............ how i gonna survive is such environment ??

T.T no dunk mean hard to fall sleep tonight !!!

no flying

i have no idea why they call me back ??? it is i will be a bette pilot if i stay at the hostel ????? and what the hell is happening >?? how bout the outside market ? it is opening for pilot ??

i have no idea what i gonna be after graduation !!! but i dont think will happen that soon !!! hai.....
what is this ?? when i gonna up in the air again ??

what wrong with them !!!!

i just wake by those idiot management !!!!! nai sing AH............. inspection woh........... do this type of stupid thing than so hardworking talk bout aircraft than every thing dont know !!!! say want to be professional like those airline but what they did is really doest make any sense of it !!!!
come knock you door early morning ?? does those airline did so ?? come on la... focus on flying program and try make it better is much more than doing this type of thing la.......


CEO is the man that i really respect for the hard work he did even inspection !!! but what the hell ?? as a CEO he still have to do this type of thing ? than for what he hire those manager ?? and got 1 old man i really dont what is he duty ? every day sit inside the office look like very busy but the true i think only him self know !!!

piss to the max.......... da.... la..... last night cant sleep well because of thinking silly thing till 3 some thing only can fall sleep than today morning be wake up by such stupid way !!!! the fire level almost bust d........ almost cant stand d.....

no more joy being at johor !!! i am seriously hate this school d.......... always the school can bullshit us but we just cant do any thing !!! T.T what is this ???? i really dont know what the school have been plan ?? hai.............

is time to go back d....

i wish that this time go back johor i can settle down my study than get a holiday than go kl settle other thing that border me for almost a year d.......

even till now i will skip going to sunway , in case meet up if she pretent never see me i dont think i able take it . so better stay away from that area !!! but shit la.... i stay friend house 1 at puchong 1 stay at PJ that the sunway toll is a must to pass . every time pass that place my self will Moody a while the feeling is really hard to describe .

i want the thing been done , jut like mother told me that day during shopping !! how are you are ?? how bout her ah?? still keep in touch ? i am fine never better than this !! but it is true ? than she say ya by only you stop thinking or run away from her forever . but it is possible ? no ! i still want to go sunway , i still want go midnight shell pump fuel . after that thing settle down i think will no more restriction for me d....


but what i had done ??? no time to regret d....

second time ????

yesterday night i feel that my self like tourist from other country because i think i been travel from north to south of kl . i from kelana jaya go to pekeliling but the station name titiwangsa along the way i have to take lrt from kelana to kl centre, than walk 10min to kl monorail than go to pekeliling .

reach there non thing i want so that why go back to the station and head on to bukti jalil but from pekeliling(titiwangsa) to bukit jalil i think 14 station only will reach bukit jalil !!! almost 30min there d...... than because the way that go to bukit jalil is share with ampang line so i have to get down at the chan sow lin and wait roughly 5-10min only the sri petaling line came .

thank for the temporary bus station the lrt is pack like satin !!! after get in have to walk 8-10min only wll reach the bus station !!!! that time i already feel damn hunrgy d, due to fasting for lunch so the first time i get out of the lrt i go to those light and easy malay stall but any thing that can relief my hunger . during eating those dont what food i feel relief d.....

the total time of the journey is 2:30min !!!!!! with running because hungry d..... hahahha

i dont think this type of trip is suitable for a girl that may carry 10-15kilogram of baggage , so that i tell my sister just buy the airticket to save all this mess !!! lucky i just got 1 sister only if got another 1 i think i will be more slim d..... and also i feel that the relationship among out family are close so i dont mind to do that again la.... :) but for my sister do it with bag is really a bad idea !!thank God gving her the cheaper fare to come and go back !! once again praise the lord !!!!

first time going camp withount gang !!

last Saturday i had join the famine 30hour at bukit jalil as a volunteer , before i go i do feel bored because starting saying a bus of people will go there too but in the end me alone be there only !
very surprice that i still willing to go !! even thought i know no 1 is going d..... even my church friend ask me why ? say that just skip it only la.... i really cant answer . for me promise is promise !!!
so that why i hardly promise thing ! but after i considerate every thing and i able to make it only i will promise and i will try my best to keep the promise :)



back to the camp , this camp really different from what i join last time !! this camp i without camera or a phone that can really take some nice photo with me or so other gadget as well . so this time i was thinking that since i come all the way for this camp d.... let's be focus and serve it well ! because when we go out actually we are bring the name of God son or petra member out . any stupid thing occurt will be a tragedy .




this camp starting i been assign for volunteer registration , than after this task they discover that some other team is short of people so once again i been assign to another team that the seating team ! a team that have to make sure 8000++ participant can enter the hall safely and locate they seat within 3hour . i am in charge the place card , mean that i have to holding a big card board so that people from far can see me !!! hehe what a boring job...... but i think back i do learning some thing !!
even what i do is small and light but imaging that every 1 think they are not important and quit the pose what will happen ?? so i just do what even i should do and ever ready my self for special case .





hhahahahaha i shake hand with hishammuddin hussein oh....... even thought i know he is a good liar !!! for me i really ok with other race especially Malays . i will feel uncomfortable when my church friend address them as pig !! come on la..... inside the church by the time prayer shouting loud that want unite want get they soul be they light . bullshit alot !!
for me i really not good in lying , either i silent or i skip the question . most of the time i will skip the question hehehh because i don't have the skill to tell liar . such a failure !!!

phobia d.....

last night rizal bring me to a live band club near by subang area , i think i wont ever forget that night !!!! starting we just have some easy drink chivas coke . after 4 cup i feel not thing than he order chivas dry mean pure chivas no mixture !!! after that cup i feel some thing going on but because liquor is slow so he order i bucket of tiger beer . i really dont like tiger beer taste after drinking 3 bottle i order 1 guinness stout , first time drinking at first taste bitter but sunddely i hear a song that recall my memory !! that moment i just thinking to drink and drunk . i finish the stout like water than the knock down drink came d..........


guess what ?? oh my..... is long island , that time i dont really care what type of drink been serve any more as long it can bring me down !! after the second and the half cup of long island i been knock down nicely .


that moment i feel so lonely i jump to the dance floor , till now i still cant belief i just did that !!! i dance among the aunty . but seriously they are really good in dancing ! what i am doing ? i also dont know!

i cant really remember how i get into the car and how i go back d...... but along the way home i vomiting like hell !!! the SHIT part is i vomiting inside the car !! damn it how can i just did that ?? today morning i vomit again , whole body feel so uncomfortable especially the stomach make me feel like vomit again ! even now too !!

now i hope that faster finish my 165 hour and the exam as well , than during the holiday
i want to settle some thing ! i know 1 day i never settle it 1 day i also will still stuck it the same thing over and over again !!! but i know not now !!! because mostly the result i will get is not the 1 i want to hear but to solve it nicely is meaning for me to prevent awkward in the future time .

say what even thing inside my heart out and close this case forever !! moody and up set body day

bee

i believe you should know what is that !!!!! but i dont think you been strike by bee ! but i can tell you the feeling is suck !! damn pain after been strike by bee , the pain straight away appear my tear almost flow out d........



my leg swollen like pork leg !! but never mind lo....... the leg round round like that quit cute ma !! am i right if both also like that that never mind lo..... 1 swollen 1 thin thin than cant not so ugly and the pain keep still really annoying lo.....



after eating the medicine i dont really feel it effectively , the feeling really want cry out also cant so hard !! not thing can describe my current feeling .

pain pain pain pain T.T at daddy almost cry like a baby !! i repeat is ALMOST mean not yet :P

reach after so many hour of journey

SO SO TIRED ............ johor hostel really no human stay 1 lo........ just receive a email from school , say that my house and beside my house play music too loud !!! come on la..... if you cant stand it just leave and buy your own banglo la..... since we are 70% of the population is palm court area . complain la.... :P

when i go back for sure i gang up every 1 "play music together " boom the area :P idiot people really speechless la..... hai...... got the feeling want to throw stone to the house d........... pissssssssssssssssssss...................................

kuantan

what i can do ah!!!! who can i meet up ?? thinking who are free to entertain me !!

bored to meet with those people that not the close with me !!! since my time are limited , so reserve most of the time for family and those people the care and love bout me :)

super tired want to fall sleep soon !!!!

hope always there

i cant believe that i can hear heaven is counting on you this song on my malay friend car !! because i burn the song mix with other with love song !!!

and tonight i will staying at his house , i can even pray at his house . during i reading the bible he mute the tv too !! thank you :) i believe the day will come all come as 1 !!!! i mean 1 family !!!

KL i really dont feel any thing attract me any more !!! now what come out in my mind is , the place is heaven or hell depend who you go with ? even the most beautiful place is this world if you go with some 1 you dont like you wont feel joy too , but if you go with some 1 you love even the worst place can be nice .

2 more month than 1 year lo.......

give up la.........

what will happen when some 1 that is not qualified to be a CFI but being a CFI !!!!

like usual tonight my slot cancel due to he say he want to take it !!! hai......... he can simply take other slot just like that !!! fuck them la.... i am really piss off d..... i dont care d..... i want to go back home immediately .

idiot fucking bias , the whole night he and he student take it the whole air craft !! take la.... take what even you want la...... i dont care any more d...... th feeling that been wake up in the early morning from the school call is really not nice some more the information given is your slot cancel !!

!@#$%^&#$%^&*$#@!@#$%^&*&%$#@#$%^&*&^%#@#$%^ ah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! after shouting feel much better d!

it is true ??

just finish watching lie to me !!! i keep watching English drama without looking at the sub title try to improve the English level but is really tough lo..... keep play back because i cant get what he say !!!

but this word mean to me !! "say you stop loving some 1 that you love her more than any thing else before will be a lie !!!!" but we have to move on !! we have to move on !!

keep running from this !!! like a circle keep over and over again , repeat again and again !! like never end i want to move on d............ maybe the brain want me to do that but how bout the heart ???

what i want ??

just finish allot of chocolate and sweet !!! hope that cheer me up and reduce the moody and stress !!!! many people dont really understand what i stress for !!! even me dont really know !!

i feel stress when i am not flying !!! doing not thing at the hostel !!! now my home town church is handle a famine camp i wanted to go so much but the school always have they special plan !!! but the true plan is no plan at all !!! sound silly ? no that is what i down now !!!

hope can go back meet with my lovely sister !! miss her so much . me and her really "snake mouse 1 house " i really thank GOD giving me all this !! parent sibling i just dont want to be alone or left out any more !!! but of course i not to mummy boy always stick with the mother .

i was thinking that !! how my sister do it ?? alone stay at hong kong !! hai.... that what GOD make every 1 different !! and every 1 has they own talent and limitation too!!! for now i dont think so........

bang !!!!!

just now almost get into a accident !!! serious no joke that moment i feel really scare !! so more i bringing my cousin my aunt only son !!!! less than 1 inch i bang the car tail d......... lucky i drive slow because raya soon so many road block !!!! and my cousin told me so........ is i drive like usual i think i will end up on the hospital bed !!!! T.T till now think back that moment the heart rate still increase

proton really cant drive 1 !!! the break also cheap cake !!! i think tomorrow i will bring the car for inspection d.....

thank God i am STILL living !!!!

holiday

last time i keep hoping for holiday , but now not any more !! is really frustrated every 1 keep asking you the same question again and again !!! now holiday day can say is my nightmare no way to go i dont think the coming holiday will go back kuantan d.... i rather go other place even country worst come to worst i just stay hostel play game watching pps !!!

:)

A: finish study d???
me: not yet oh....
A: why take so long ?
me :lack of air craft and instructor ma....
A: hai ya you should go melaka ma.... why you choose this school see now stuck in the middle of no way !!
me: silent ................................



B: i hear that you are pilot ?
me: er...... er..... can say so la..... but just private pilot !!
B: private ?? no mas or air asia ?
me: er........ no !!
B : than what air craft you flown ?
me : piper and liberty
B : not air bus or boeing 747 ??
me: no
B : how many seat ?
me: er....... 2-4 !!
B: oh ....... so small 1 ah....
me: ya lo..... he he @.@


bro: wei what to fill in in your ocupation ?
me: just write student la...
bro : i thought you want to write pilot!! because you always say you are pilot ma.....
me : what even la...... !!!!!!



i am really lazy to tell people i am pilot any more !!!!

here the information !!!!
SPL student pilot license
PPL private pilot license this is ................................................... what i having now !!!

CPL commercial pilot license ............................................a month later i should get this !!!

ATPL airline transport pilot license
this 1 need A minimum of 1000 hours fixed wing (preference will be given to applicants with turbine or multi-engine experience) mean after working only can get !!!

eating make me feel warm and happy :)

no sign board , no not thing !!!

i dont think he require it any more

see this you roughly can know the business flown d


the stall owner a old uncle and aunty

4.11am AM oh !!!!!!!






beef noodle !!

rm4.5 not that cheap ,the taste ok ok only lo......

sam face tell every thing !!!

actually i am damn sleepy d......

after eating is time to do exercise d...... if not within a month i am sure will gain weight as well !!! i cant let this thing happen , so every day abs exercise will never remove from the to do list !!

this food stall remind me 1 theory , " the thing that you easy get you will never appreciate , but the thing that you cant get you will always want to get " in the end after you get will drop into the same problem never appreciate it any more !!!! is a bad cycle. so please remember this !! ( what go around come around ) if dont understand find dictionary and always remind your self !!!!! dont be a jerk !!

last 10

suffer day will gone soon !!! my brighter future is waiting for me !!!

i keep hoping that can go back on 14-15 kuantan famine camp !!! but the flight test just around the corner the most umcomfortable part is i dont know what to do when i going back !!!! i mean i dont even know my duty possition !!!

all is my fault too !! till now still "15-16 " want dont want want dont want like that !!! hai!!!!! i hate this part of me !!!! why i cant just make a decision must drag the thing till the end of the day !!
such a failure ! i am damn worry for my english test !!! many people that have strong english base also can fail the test !!! i have no idea how !!!

every time also like that !!!!!

BY THE TIME I AM SO LONELY AND FREE !!! no 1 will call me out , than after i plan for some program than tons of plan and program come to me !!!! just like today !!!

morning out with sihai
afternoon sutera mall meet some johor friend
afternoon kuantan friend ask meet at city square mall
afternoon si hai suddenly say want to KL

it is all come in the same days !!!!

what the fxxxxxx samsung !!!

my samsung phone star i use it less than a year now the screen no more serviceable d........ samsung star touh of magic !!!! talking cock without the sceen button i can throw away the phone , good a god chance to change phone . every time see this phone also feel sad d.....

no more sumsung phone in my life !!!

lets count down together !!!!

if you dont what i mean !!! let's me explain the situation i am so happy and feel contradiction as well . because i just left 11hour 35minute to finish my 165 single engine , feel relief but when thinking that at least 2 month holiday i feel stress d...... mean that i cant graduate on this year again !!!! hai..........

stress like hell !!!!! since now are free planing to write my resume and start prepare to sent out !!!!
feel so no mood by the time see those student finish study for half year or even more still job less !!

for me is simple !! as long i up in the air my paid running i am happy d...... i not choosy on airline because i dont have the power !!

the most late flying even

today i suppose fly at 8pm till10pm !!! but due to the airliner i have to hold and delay my flight till 10pm , and my solo flight cancel just fly 1 hour dual with capt chit . during the waiting time really suffer sit in th aircraft that withot aircord is not fun at all !!!



finally around 10pm after clear all the airliner , my turn to flight i did 4 landing all are safe and smooth hahahahahh capt chit say good too hahahahhahah can go for solo night flying d.... super excited :) and really looking forward for tomorrow night !

now what i hope is faster finish up my hour than go for holiday !!!! so now i dont care if within the limitation i will fly !!

T.T ALMOST GET LOST IN THE AIR

GPS WILL ALWAYS OUT OF SERVICE BY THE TIME YOU NEED IT THE MOST !!!!!!!

just now the weather not so good but i left 2hr solo nav , so i carry on the flight !!! by the time i reach kulai the cloud was so low and the visibility is really make me shit on the pants i think is less than 6km . than i hear the RT call from the Coward , i told he may call me return back to base but not he never do that he just leave me pass the kulai and benut . by the time i reach benut the gps show low battery d.... oh that is really not good !!! mean that is time back to old school map reading !! keep crosscheck with the map during flying , after 20min i almost reach the ayer hitam Lucky this area was clear compare with just now but after this way point i will face full of high ground area . mean that is any mistake the consequence that i have to paid is may hang on 1 of the tree . Thank God i land safety , but even now i still feel scare !!! really no joke man...... get lost in mountain area is really no joke . that time the most important thing i must do is stay calm and continue the track that the only chance i can found the next way point . i fly all the way to the coastline of mersing , by the time i saw mersing coast line i almost cry out d....... finally after the 10-15min lost i do feel relief.

after continue the normal track , another problem appear !!! but i use to this problem d..... radio problem since the aircraft age is older than me for sure the radio also more or less 20year d... so by the time i fly st those terrain area i can say totally suffering radio failure because i cant hear what the ATC vice versa always ask for help from other air craft to relaymy message this time is my instructor help me relay the message hahaha . lucky he never scold me after landing HOOoooooo really scare la.... think back also feel scare ah.....


no more solo navigation flight for me d..... : ) finally i free from the chance getting lost again !! not much hour left for single engine d..... less than 20hour but after this 20hour i belief that i will have at least i month holiday d....... interm of study is good i can rest and go travel here and there alone than alone la...... i want relaxing my mind and soul d......... but think back !!! go back kuantan every 1 asking the same idiot question (when you graduate ah?? ) ,( why coming back so often 1??), (working which airline ah?),( what air craft you flown) ,( sure got many stewardess d... la.... introduce some la...) ,( what still single dont lie la... ) ............................................................... i lazy to go back d.... rather go to kl or out of this country !!!

la bella

today i went sally saloon for visiting and facial !!!! unbelievable she own a shop d........ in age 20 !!!

hai....... T.T me 21 yr still studying stuck in the school !!!! and now day kuantan got people own a Ferrari 430 d...... wah !!! who they do that har ???

hai i time to think how to find money d.... i think this is better than thinking those useless think !! happy time always travel so fast , so fsat 3days past d..... and i have to go back to johor . dont know why now day i come back and have to go back johor soon i dont ever have hard feeling lo...... not thing is really hold me back at kuantan d...... except family .

like usual every time i come back , people will ask when i graduate ? when introduce some stewardess for me ? when this when that !? hai....... i dont know why they must keep repeating the question over and over again !!! damn annoying . especially my brother !!! i say i am pilot than he reply is you not yet a pilot dont say so loud address you are pilot !!! but i am really a pilot ma...... just not airline pilot ok !!! i am private pilot ok !!!! i had the licence OK !!!!!!!!!! so what ?? i lazy to told people i am pilot , public always have te negative image for pilot !!

PILOT mean stewardess plus liquor !!! fucxxxx around the world !!! play boy ............. really like that ?? i haven experiencing it i cant give any comment . good what play boy no hard feeling !!! :) bored for my current status !!