Keep going up and down in my life

I think I am the only 1 feel ok by staying at the hostel. 

For me that place is really good , meal prepared no need to wash cloth my own. I just feel bored staying at putra height a house that seen like no body staying. 

But what can I do in Kuantan ? Very soon I will go off to indonesia and start a new page of my life . 

I just feel my life is missing some thing ,  which is I don't what it is ? You know what from starting I refuse to work at indonesia till I hope I can work there ASAP it not about the place any more but about the paid. 

Now what in my mind is hope to earn  my first salary after 3 years suffer. I know The first year being a second officer will be very tough . 

I love my life and I appreciate every thing I had.  Miss my parent so much. T.T