job also sexist !!!!! today mood very grey

those male pilot always ask why girl want to be pilot , even though they know hard to get job ?? i was thinking why most of the major airline dont take in girl pilot ?? but after i search the part time job for few days than i know the problem already . in our mind we already set what sex suitable what career example most of the promoter job are looking for " presentable looking girl " damn it !!! how la.... ??? presentable looking ???

every time looking at those job application really make my self feel down and feel uncomfortable , minimum SPM above T.T say get a degree in 3 to 4 year but me still SPM with a flying license . go out apply job i really dont know what can i show off in my resume any more .

hai !! mood swing and down to the max today ...................................................................

eat sleep play eat sleep play eat sleep play die

i am so fxxxxxxxxx lost , seriously part time also hard to find since promise daddy take care of the shop during 7/12 - 14/12 hai........................

thinking to find some freelance earn so real money , $$$$ really not enough or the satisfactory is higher and higher d......... ???

thinking to go back johor at least no 1 know what i doing . hate to answer question any more !

just receive a call from kuan

first word she told me was want find extra money ?? they all also join d...............

sorry not in the mood , working with they no way !!

i rather to stay at home or help daddy mummy !

the longest " distance "

the longest distance between human is not "actual distance" , but the mind set !!!!

thank for internet we can chat or communicate with some 1 that far far away from us . but the 1 that stay within a home are you communicate with them ??

i'm home !!!!!

from johor to kuantan that is a long journey to travel , say truely i and so worry bout my study . every time i flip thought the news paper i see the those requirement my self will feel bad man .......... minimum diploma how many thousand flying hour bla bla bla ...................................

for some people 3 to 4 months holiday is just awesome , a gift drop from the heaven right ?? but for me i just feel suck seriously what can i do in this few month ?? already few day never sleep tight . i think is a good time for me to calm down my self and pray T.T sound crazy or silly ?? i can tell you is not funny :) because i belief the power or prayer . example i enable to pass all my flying paper and most off the ground test what a huge miracle !! of course i do study for the exam but the power of memories the thing performance in the exam hall as well .

another thing to pray hard beside my study is for my parent baptism , i love my parent very much just like how they love me . if count it out 1 by 1 what they all prepare for me i think i may need another 21years to list it out T.T . every time stay at daddy shop the heat from the sun really killing me but think back daddy been there for how long d?? i dont know why the relationship between mw and mummy become better day by day it is weird if i say that ? why i say so is , because last time my mother used to work at the coffee shop and spent most of the time there some more every day lack of sleep due that mummy become very hot temper and i am the younger child and " scorpion " i rather to silent or walk off the conversation if i feel i been attack !!!! but now thank God once again after i left home for study i realize that how easy life i having at home , every day mummy cook for me till i have not thing to worry bout .

now day mummy even call me "bao bei " : ) love you too

always think before we say , the word without thinking may hurt other forever !!!!!!

fighting !!!!!!!!!!

just hear a news from mummy , my cousin that wedding head of this year get into a fight !!! is not a normal quarrel any more . for my own feeling this pair are so wrong !!! before married already start quarrel d....... married because having baby that is not the way man !!

last week the fight even involve knife that use to chop chicken !! the baby haven have a chance to take a fresh breath , the parent start fighting wanted hurt each other . i feel scare to hear those story i mean this type of news, because i feel that if i do what even i want ignore every thing by the time i get hurt no 1 will pity me .

my mind are always fight with the heart , my heart keep remind those time but the mind stopping me to do that . for me i know my self very well , Ego that cant hide form my body . also because of this i will rarely step back or tolerate . after so long , that day i try to make the first step but i scare getting hurt later so i just remain the first step a normal sms .

scorpion VS scorpion mean some body gonna hurt of step back d..................................................

going back to johor tomorrow night

actually the aim that i go back johor is for the face treatment , and hope that i get the flight job in my school . at least i get some income $$$$$ . i am broke for this month d............. after settle all the bill . tm bill that my friend still owe me rm200 , and i pay the treatment for rm250 by monthly installment kasian gila...............

because i really hate to use photoshop to edit the photo d...................... so fake @.@ how good that i have pimples less face !!! or just less i also feel happy d.............. stress $$$$$$$$$$$ i think is the most people problem . but my case i know can solve it by asking money from either parent just dont want , i rather to settle it by my own also dont want ask more pocket money .

most of the time i was thinking that how daddy make it ??? and how mummy did it again ?? God will ?? daddy is working in "oven " for 9 -10 hr per day , and mummy that can only speak chinese but can bring people to japan or other country that doest using chinese .

the most i cant stand is i really cant act infront of people i am not a good actor !! if i dont like you mean i dont like you d....... that is me !!! i wont hide my feeling like most of the people . but to survive in community we are force to act ................................ say cheese :)

lonely night that cant fall sleep , too many things fly across my mind .

what school will give you more than 4 months holiday??

klifa is what you looking for !!!!! this fuckup school i think is the worst school in malaysia d....... got no more extra money to spent on me and i also dont want increase the load for my parent d.....

change school can solve the problem , but it also mean more money have to spent out !!! i dont think my parent have the money any more . every time thinking bout money i also feel bored and down . because now day for me i feel that to earn every single cent is not longer easy but why still got many people can have this and that so easily but they treat parent still like shit !!!

thinking what to do in the future 4 months , part time job ?? 3.5 per hr !!!! 8hr per day mean that 28 a day minus fuel and lunch 20 per day !! if working continuously 30days only get 600 !!! so amazing !!! my pocket money already rm 700 d............ i really dont know how those people spent the money ?? for me staying outside daily meal already cost me more than rm15 d........ mean 15 X 30 =450 d...........

better still i use the time to learn some thing new, but what course can i take for 3 to 4 month ??

what i am thinking

for now i really dont know what am i thinking d................ but just try to be nice ..................sending a wishes may be not only the thing i want . but what to do ............ too afraid to hear so thing that hurt again so till now i never ask a single question from that issue .

live is short , lets play more and pray more :)

last minute change plan

mummy last minute change her plan , not going to batam any more due to her passport still at kl for the japan visa process . haiya.................................. than today go to school finish up the paper work that remind me i have to do my medical check up at subang d.............. because for applying the new commercial pilot license need a longer validity medical certificate .

no choice rizal is going to renew his medical on this Thursday ........................................ why la.......... i will be at there also .

feel like throwing out

i hate to throw after drink , the feeling is suck man....................... but i more hate in between throw out and cant throw out .

finally most of us pass the test d.

drunk will make people a wake ??? no way , just taking coxk after drinking .

:P headache

off line

drunk mean happy ???


i dont think so man ................. now what i feel is want ti vomit and prepare to clean the dirty after after the party DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD vomit feel better?? no reallgy


i feel lonely , :) feel like .................................

i am drunk

at this time i am almost drunk ,before i get drunk i write down what i thinking first . really funny by looking thought are drunk !!! my friend almost get drunk d............. if i pour few more cur for him confirm he can swin on the living hall d...............

lol....................... we just finish more than halt of vodka and whisky haha.................. those that cant drink start crazy d............ super funny by looking at them lol..............

i almost get drink d.............. before that i must record it first d.................................. congratulation for those that pass the exam ...............


love so much :)
i not yet drunk :P

17-/18 -11 -2010

i just receive a call from mummy , she invite me to go Indonesia batam on the 17 till 18 . straight away i say yes d............ thank God because this thing keep bonder me for few day d.............. that day i will not be at kuantan or kuala lumpur even malaysia d.

is another relief for me , hai......... holy father already make a choice for me : ) . because if i meeting her mean i am looking for trouble and not happiness . any way wish all the best for her , i really dont want to know WHY d................. may be this situation is the best for you and me .

i know that , the "dead knot "& : million of ??? " will still in my heart . the most you trying to forget the more you recall .

love you :) once again thank God

12-13 /11/2010

i thought i will break my own record go visit the club in johor , because i been johor more than 2years d........ i never visit there before . in the end sie hai call for drink i though gonna drink at the club d......... in the end go the pub but i like the pub too the environment is nice just like the oversea pub . having live band and nice food and pool table , but we dont really drink much that night because along the way we face 2 road block d.

we just drink few cup of over sea beer than 2 bucket of Heineken that all !!! not drunk but the feeling is just nice , another problem i think i gain weight d =.= .

i still dont know what so tasty about beer , it can be the most consume drink after water and tea . unbelievable believe it !!!!!

love you :)

just got this feeling

just now during reading i got a feeling or hear a sound that tell me that how gladful i am !!!!
why i always will ask God "why i dont have this i dont have that but people had , but do we think another way ?? why people have to you dont have to ? example : people are blind in accident why he not you ??? what you dont have maybe a branded spectacle but others ........


so always feel glad and thank God and your parent for giving every thing they could :)

love you :)

finally i am finish my test

the moment i get down the aircraft , i feel so relief and seriously the feeling is really hard to describe by wording . for me now really not thing but flying d........... i has pass all my paper and now the flight test d.....................

long time never been so happy d, after the flight test than capt ismail say congratulation to you now you are entitle as commercial pilot d................. Commercial Pilot lol............... than follow by photo taking section .

i really cant wait any second to share out the joy with my family daddy mummy brother and sister . those that i love and love me so much ................................ time really the best medicine in the world because now i think i almost fully recover already . we must willing to lossing some thing before wecan get some thing . example : loss the play time but get a better result . it apply to every 1 .

:) love you . dont really plan to post on facebook just will share this with those care and know me

weather is just like a women face !!!!!!!

you will never never predict the weather just like you will never fully undestand a women !!!!

today my flight test been cancel twice !!!!! dont ask me how i feel , because i think even a small kids can answer your question down !!!!!!!!!!!!!

what if i having 3month holidays

got money then i wish to go here and there lo.................... since that is impossible thinking to work as some post that will increase my social skill and English as well .

dont what to work as also ??? thinking thinking !!!! beside that now what i can do is prepare for my flight test . dont know why i dont feel good for the test !!! hai......

last night i cant fall sleep , i dont know why !! keeping try every i can to make my self fall sleep but it failure . i was keep thinking who is that Guy ? dont even have a photo ?? am i know him ?? what ever !!!

savanna dry

taste better even without chill , i think this drink really suitable for ladies it taste like apple because it is apple cider drink . easy drink easy drunk too..... 6%alcohol

let try it today :)

度日如年

为什么我好像很烦是的？？ 生命突然变得很孤燥乏味， 每天起床第一件是除了打开眼睛就是预备演技了。看似一切都很好 但里头的眼泪又有谁知道呢？

my school really have major problem d.................................... last time already is 10 pail but 7 cover d.................. always switching the cover to cover this cover that . hai............. starting my school got 3eagle aircraft but now stop leasting from CTRM , than is leasting aircraft from admal 2 piper and 1 twin . the most stupid move this school did is buy liberty aircraft less than 1 year 4 aircraft already lost 3 of that and kill 2 peoples . Is that time this school use the money to buy piper my school already have at least 8piper !!!! because 1 liberty cost 2-3piper !!!!!!

why they want to buy liberty is because the fuel consumption 5al per hour compare with piper 8-9gal per hour 1 gal = 3.785 liter and latest fuel price is rm6.00 mean that per hour can save 12liter and rm72 . but also because of this figure they forget bout the stuctural the aircraft is fragile really not good as a training aircraft since student are make to be make mistake but this aircraft dont know whether you got the second chance anot ??

now we only have 2 aircraft !!! and 1 twin !!! hai.................................... life really no take 2 enjoy today ::)

my 21th birthday 01/11/2010

i am fine with what even i am !!!!!!!!!!!! the darkness of my heart has gone now what i am looking forward is future :)

love you all muack........................

a message that cause me drop my phone

why !!! because of a message !!!!! this message make me drop my phone till the battery pop out of the phone !!!!! dont know wheather i should feel happy or what !!! not how power the word but who sending the message !

never mind i wil use to it 1 !!!!!!!!!! fan................... my school aircraft down again !!! crash again !!!!!!!!! T.T i really really bored !!!! and hate my school very much !!!

feel so glad that i born in NG's family

last night my daddy mother help me throw a very nice party , i cant believe that mummy cal prepare more than 10 meal hahahhhha super power !!!!! the love from parent is the price less love .



thank for brother sister present , i was keep looking for a good and comfortable laptop bag . now i got it as a birthday present !!! super comfortable and nice looking hahahhahahhahhahhha happy like crazy !!!! and another 1 is the plane model !!! than i always wanted to buy but always say next time .i also get it in this birthday d.......... hahahah



this is the second times i celebrate in single status lol............... use to it d....... without relationship a friend also not bad ma............ happy that my 21th birthday come so many people but still got allot good close friend at kl . but i think is good enough for me d