what is happening ??

this few day i keep quarrel with brother , just because small matter than i get fuxxx !!??
example like yesterday i already laying on the bed than he call me go off the light , but i already feel very tired a that moment so i ignore it...... what the hack a...... you have leg also right ???
this thing i also fuxxx it la..... because small thing only but the coming topic really piss me off
suddenly he say :"just now afternoon you ask me plan to take dinner any way tonight ??? have any idea ??" than i say not thing special just because i dont have any idea ? just because that ?? what the hack la... than he say my tone got problem !!!! what is the problem ??? ask for suggestion also get fxxx......

any way this thing already pass d........... bored and moody also no point d......

the world is sick

this is copy from facebook !!!1

i feel sad and down and scare and cant fall sleep after view this, this is worst than the ghost movie .

because the first thing i think about is !!! if the girl is some 1 i know ? my family member ?? the 1 i loved ? what i will feel ?? i really scare that 1 day it happen to the 1 i love !_! . i think the girl been taking drug ?? but i don't think she totally don;t what she doing at that moment . she is hanging a CROSS but i don't think she is a christian , but is yes also i think she already get the punishment d.....

hello my friend , ARE YOU WANT TO BE NEXT ????? it that really enjoy after taking drug or get drunk??? think about it ??? think bout you parent ?? you friend ? is this happen to you ? how they feel ???? stop making trouble for them !_! .................. i pray this don't even even happen to the 1 i love . i can't take it .

what the hell is happening around us ?? where is the love ???

the true love ? not the love learn from the movie ,

love is not what you see i the movie .

you know what i mean ?? i telling you love is sacrifice .

love is thinking about other before you think yourself

love is selfless not selfish , love is GOD , and GOD is love.

love is when you lay down your life for another even those that hate you.

that is love he died for us and me while still hated him .

that is love , GOD is true love , and if you don't know this LOVE

NOW is time to know , the prefect LOVE

dinner time .............

now daddy turn , because he work at noon so i cook it as a dinner for him. come with chicken sandwich and mushroom soup
5 min later ..................

he say very full d....... heheheh

litter thing only wor ???

he say night usually take very light meal only hehe...

dont care ah have to finish it :P

at least finish all the food , and i make a cocktail for him and that is the full stop for the meal d........

i still cook the lunch................

the result that i love to see !!!! all shiny just like the mirror

after wash it is time to cut it d.......

what a beautiful beacon yum yummy!!!

final product , first side dish

the whole meal pic forget to put the vege salad

so just beacon vege , mash potato , and pork chop with mushroom sauce .

even thought after eating have to clean the floor and the cooking utensil but feel happy that people like what i cook . maybe just a smile , i feel comfortable and worth it d......... because i really love cooking next time i wish i can wake up early morning and prepare a breakfast , and enjoy it with the 1 i love .

3pm breakfast/........

cheese potato not that success
final product , mix and match .

a great meal cant without a drink , today i choose bailey .

a bit alcohol make me feel better

i love to cook nice food for my self and other ..............................

hate to clean hate to get scold hate every thing i hate ......................................

just finish home church............... not that usual...!_!

today like usual i cook two meal , 1 is simple another 1 is creative meal again.......... because normally i dont get the picture what i want to cook ? but i will feel enjoy go to super market buy allot of vegetable than reach home during wash the vege of idea will pops out ........ just like today , first i start cutting the corn than after pumpkin .

just now during cooking is so danger and suprice , because my ....................

!_! not even finish a little happy blog , i cry d.......... because get scold from mother. get a long and heavy scold. i know is my fault too but it is have to keep firing on me for more than 15min????
ya after cooking never clean the whole kictcher is my fault !!! just now i stop at because is actually my blower spoil d.... so the smell and smoke cant really get the fuxx out of the kitchen..... so i use the news paper to cover the place , than the fuxxx thing happen d.... the bleeding news paper get fire and i take it and throw to the floor to stop the fire . after that , i do mop the place and some of the place but fuxx la...... still got some stuck in between the sauce bottle that moment i been fucxx to the max............. imaging my mood was so fuxx happy because preparing the tomorrow lunch for mummy and aunty . i just online search the recipe of mash potato not even finish i been boom till cry here and there d....... mum say : why every time also come our home gathering got no other house to go ah??? what the point that you shout at me ??? is brother ideal what ?? i also last minute know that , if you not happy with that just tell him la......... why firing me >????? stupid tear cant stop keep dropping .........................

just finish all the ingredient for tomorrow but dont know whether tomorrow still got the mood and dare to cook d........... all my inspiration for the meal gone !!!!!!!!! is all gone just like the tear dropping on the floor .


not really feel wanted to stay here any more, feel want to go back hostel d................... at least a place really for me..!_! i think i come back too fuxxxxx long d....... is time for me to move my ass to the place that belong to me d....... even just a small and tiny room . MY ROOM , i d feel happy for it d !_! .

thank god my feeling calm down d.....

i feel much better d..... thank for the care .......

back to work

current feeling after quarrel.........................

27/01/2010 after this incident i dont think i will follow his car any more , damn you la..... i drive my own car enjoy your sweet time forever la....... feel more freedom can talk what ever i want to talk do what ever i want to do......... sit your car so many restriction , by the way the car in no under you name . you you using it that you treat it as yours only just like the room every time room messy sure is my fault if you fault than just reply me (this is my room ) fine........
feel like going back johor hostel , there at least i got very tiny room at least all thing is belong to me........ i want sleep eat drink also can no 1 will scold me ................... my house is sick lack of room lack of communication lack of love ....................................... !_! may be currently too angry and sad because thinking back cause the tear keep fulfilling but i stand it before light off .


angry piss frustrated sad feel to cry moody all come together


praying soon to lower down the anger ............. but a hurt mark is there d..... just recover that now bleeding again.......... no point to cry infront of him make my self down !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

fuxxx youla.........

just now in the car , me and my brother and his girlfriend . during back , the girl friend sit behind than i also sitting in front lo..... after that my brother use a very begging sound ask the girl would like to out dating ma??? than the girl say dont want la... late d.... i call you when reach home is that ok for you , than suddenly he ask again and showing his hand to the girl . that moment i feel damn awkward than i cant stand d... i pop out my feeling i say hello dont treat i am not exist ok...... than the car become so silent and than when reach home . my brother tell me that " you dont talk no 1 will think you are dumb person " fine ........ as you like ......... he say what wrong with me ??? he say : if i dont care bout your feeling at first i already sent you back than e both go datting d..... what the hxxx if the girl say yes you think you wont do that mem ??? say till your self so good like that ... :PPPPPPPPPPP you la............. big brother so what ??? got girl friend so what ???? you think you so good are???????


feeling pisss till the max but not crying because i dont want to drop my tear infront of him >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>. so choose to drop inside here...........!_!

night news................

just now i read the news papers , the world is really sick d..............
what the hell taxi driver rape the passenger ??? some more twice case a day??? where the hell of the police d............

the girl feel luck because she come period , than the guy never really get to lair on the girl ......... but sound damn wrong LUCKY ???? but what to do !!! now day the police just know how to receive the under table money and not protect the citizen .

suddenly the thing pop in my mind !! if the1 i love been rape ! what i will do ? stupid thinking ever i dont even dare to think the detail any more , but if i will kill the driver with no mercy.

just feel complicated ........

just now view again the photo , the photo is damn wrong !!!!!!!!!!!!! but non of my business d.....
with who or do what i dont care . or say cant care .

is good too leave her alone , with her i feel i am will shame to her like that . zero picture at all....... ya ya ya ya bla bla bla bla tons of excuses poping out this la that la.... up to you la.......

at least i know now i am freedom d.............. wont waste any more tear on this d......... not worth that put people at the first place but other put you the last

i know ........

hard to do but have to do ............

stop doing some thing silly

walk away from the shaddow , stop crying and holding the box d...... the better price is waiting for me .


after view , emo but sleepy

love = sacrifice

you must know that we are not asking god for a toys . obviously is not another way we are asking for the most precious thing other people life . dont worry not kill it and keep it la.... just bring some 1 to your life .



got some 1 that know how to cook your fluorite food or help you repair your pant .if that reason only you want live together with some 1 than for sure you will get up set . Because what you want is a chef or a maid not the future partner that you willing to hold her hand till the end of your life. beside that , are you get attract by her /his because of out look ???

?BE a man , can totally bring the partner to the beautiful heaven or the suffer hell as well now only i know the responsible of man . it is so heavy because other willing to give her life and every thing to you on your hand.

TO get all this , must be able to fulfil the task first . it is unfair to call some body to lower down the standard to accept you . that why i really regret that never take the responsible and never respect relationship that man should be. to get the heart from girl is the most precious thing that money cant buy .

i do very easy get attract by other . for me i know is because out look !!!!!!!! maybe for the sexy summer cloth plus mini hot pant and the prefect body shape get my attention but do i think forward ??? when she get pregnant d... the shape ?? the mark of birth ?? gain weight ?? That time do i still love her ??????????? when she 50yr d...... all the beauty is gone , all the muscle loose d..... do I ???




is time to sleep and
prepare my self for above the standard
better day waiting for me ........... EMO ??? just a very short period in my whole life journey !!!
try to smile toevery 1 and my self it make me feel better........
so many words zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

B'dAY present .......................

today is my brother birthday , for him i think is the best and unforgettable birthday in his life d...... because yesterday his new girl friend celebrate the birthday with him...... and present him a SHEAFFER pen hai....... say till this i am full of fire d...... last year i do present him a pen i purposely call the shop craft his name on it . but i think the pen lost d...... because the first reaction he giving me is EIYER..... why the pen so heavy 1....... any way thank . than put the pen back to the box d. but today i see a new pen on his pocket ya ..... of course not my pen is the new pen . i dont think i will buy him any present d la........ i Rather pay money d....... waste my time to choose only .

today lunch , mummy give him a red packet 1k oh...... hai last year whatt i got ??? what present i got ??? less till i dont ever go the image d !_! but i happy for now at least i not worry for food any every thing. just feel a bit unbalance only ................. dont feel to celebrate birthday any more the more i hope the more disappointed i will get as present only............


hope he really can last with fan till married la......
may god be with me too i belief that , in god not thing is impossible

Not every thing also can retake ..............

first we must know that , in that our life never have TAKE 2 . And also not every 1 deserve to get the second chance it mean we must appreciate every single chance that we having now.

time will wait for no men !!!!!1 this is very true after you make a decision , you must able to take the consequence's as well . that why before sign any agreement think before you sign , just like you think wisely before you make any decision . A wrong decision can destroy your whole life , Chinese idiom say so " because a sweet , you lost a sweet factory" mean that now you may happy for very short period of time but after that you revise back you feel regretting .

now i try not t make my self do any more wrong decision d........ i know i cant take it d..... i do feel jealous for my bro , because now he having a sweet relationship . for now every thing seen very stable and match , i feel happy for him also just after a while my heart will feel uncomfortable d..... still trying to accept the new life .

2am mean time for bed lo......

MOST GUYS THINKING!!!!!!!!!!

LOVE = MAKE OUT

MARRIED = SEX

FAMILY KIDS = EXPEND

FORGET D................ COME BACK TO IT WHEN I REMEMBER

WHERE ARE YOU MY FRIEND ???

WHY DO NEED FRIEND ? ? ?

WHY HAVE FRIEND ? ?

WHAT'S THE USE OF FRIEND ? ?

WHAT'S THE POINT OF FRIEND ? ?

IT TIME TO FIND SOME NEW FRIEND ,

MOST OF THE FRIEND OR EX FRIEND I KNOW FROM SCHOOL IS HER FRIEND.

SOME TIME I WAS THINKING ?

WHERE THE HELL IS MY FRIEND ??

ALL LOST CONTACT D??

I BEEN AT KUANTAN FOR ALMOST 1 MONTH D,

BUT THAT IS NO MEET UP AT ALL,

MY SOCIABILITY GOT A BIG PROBLEM D......

FEEL SAD , LONELY THAT TIME DO NEED SOME 1,

AT LEAST SOME 1 COMPANY CRY AND LAUGH ,

TO SHARE THE SECRET .

THOSE BUDDY AT NOT AROUND ,

REALLY MISS THE SCHOOL LIFE D,

AFTER SCHOOL GO EAT ,PLAY , ECT.

MAY BE I AM TOO LOGICAL THINKING D,

FOR ME I WILL THINK ,

WHY MEET UP >>???

AFTER CALL TONS OF PEOPLE ,

THAN EVERY 1 IS BUSY WITH THE FUXXX SMS,

BUT THE REAL PEOPLE IN FRONT THEY IGNORE IT.

CRAZY D..... AFTER VIEWING FACEBOOK.....................................................................................

wah??????

just read the news paper , yesterday got 6 17yr boy get drowing till dead oh. and today got 4yr girl dead by dance in front of the TV and incidentally kick the TV wire cause the whole TV fall on her oh....... cause dead oh !_! 4yr .......... for me i feel that the life is really short ....... that why dont waste even a second any more.


how much time left for me ??? no 1 know , but i will use it nicely .

more easy to cry d......

just now i attend prayer meeting , during singing hilsong dont know why my tear keep dropping lo..... the word in the song is so touch for me . dont know whether i am normal anot lo???

just now go view other people profile , feel down after viewing . think not to do it anymore d.....

i want to rest my mind for now .


:) is coming back soon

i just lost i of my dog ......!_!

do you saw it ???

dont who idiot that stolle my dog d............... even kuantan town is not that big , but search for a tiny dog like it is not easy lo ........ !_! i think i will mood down for few day..............

for those saw this dog please contact me 0179025454 thank you very much.........

do i look a toy????

after watching toys story ............ remind me !!!

for sure the first time when you play with the new toys you will keep holding it or may be hugging it till fall to sleep ?

but after a while , when you get a new toys the old toys will be left out and put a side . not only because of that some is because technical problem spoil d or out of battery d........ that time people will feel lazy to repair it and keep playing it till it die.

the worst is , when people feel bored that time they will start thinking of the toys !!! feel like want to play with it to over come the extra time . but after passing time the mission of the toys is complete and also is time to enter the box d........ get in the dark and tiny box again and again ......


a toys that out of service

do more wrong more !!!!!!!!!!!!!! better dont do it !!!!!!!

messy messy messy

i tought " you " can help me but why u burn my skin !_!
look like blood ?? if that i think i enter hospital d...... thank god is not

it is look like my leg ?? the burning feeling almost make me cry because maybe i got wound

so feel like burning .

!_! why is my white leg ??

first this thing happen , like usual i get my daddy scold like dog than after mummy . but lucky my daddy love me so much after scolding me i beg him faster go buy tina for me . after that i use the Tina i feel like burning occur on my skin , he call me don't use d...... than he go buy car petrol for me hehehe........ i call him buy that because i always use air craft petrol to wash my hand it clean and feel cold cold 1........ finally most of the paint been remove d....... thank god the paint just pour on my leg not eye if really happen my life is gone my career is gone .

that moment i do feel scare and wish that suddenly a hand appear and help me clean the paint because very pain till i dont dare to wash it again . i pour water also feel like burning oh..........

thank god i am still a life oh......

pain........

back and ass sufering pain , never walk it wont feel the pain . but when i start walking every step bring me pain . daddy just give me some oil say can relief the pain i hope it really work lo.....

hai....... now i feel i like old man d......... pain here and there , long time never play badminton suddenly so hard call . during match keep thinking winning the match like real competition like that that time really dont feel the pain . after a day , all the pain come together hai.........

mood down , fan ah........... erasing the unhappy memory and looking forward for better tomorrow .

no more tear at least today never drop a single droplet......

the most tired and early nighti fall to slp.......

even my self i cant really belief that , i fall sleep at 930. i do not want to wasting my time for some not important thing any more . now every single breath god giving me ,is not for me to waste it on silly thinking .

last time , i very care bout the small and minor thing like photo in fb , dress code , place gather . but not now , because i am clean my mind the meaning of single d....... for me now if go out with her or contact with her i do not think is a wise choice . because is time to wake up d......

i think single life style is more suitable for me d...... every time quarrel or force to tolerant on some thing i do not like so much . till i lost my mind and forget why i want to dating ?? to hurt each other ?? quarrel all time ?? for my 4yr relationship i feel i just live in the fairly tale ...... but just only the ending is out standing from the story line.

i do not want just because lonely than go find some 1 to over come the time , try to use other people to over come my lonely or replace the love that i cant get in home . my sister told me that there will never end if i keep hoping got some 1 can replace the hole that inside my heart . because no 1 really can do 1....... crying ?? not now d....... have to make a move to church d.....


thank god never take breath away till now........ for me i do not know what age i can life till but i choice to work it out rather than waste it d.....

just cant sleep .........

i dont know what i do it is good for her ? i dont want her would will be reopen again , i dont want put ting salt on it d..... i Rather take it all my self ........... is enough for her d....... i dont know her family how complicated but i know i cant do any thing for her d...... just pray for her and family daily i leave i to god . i believe he will make the best decision because he create world just using 6 days only .............


cant sleep but will sleep without tear tonight ......

no mood to cook la.......

just now go supermarket try to buy some item for tonight dinner , after getting all the thing than mum say this not fresh that no good this la that la........... straight away i trow all the item back and no mood to cook d.......

feel like want go for part time jobs?? but for my current mood dont think so d....... always moody moody sure get scold for my friend know me well i dont like people keep mumbling during my work for me i will leave all the work for you , since you so clever ma fxxx it la.... your self finish all that :P

but this type of bad habit , i have to throw it away d...... because airline life is no easy first you enter you are the most Junior 1..... so sure keep give people scold and corrected 1..... that time i cant just walk away like that d..... hundred of life is in my hand i cant take that ........!_!

like usual........

so fast , i just waste another day again ...........

yesterday i feel happy because i got time to cook , i feel that cooking is the best medicine for me . especially see those face that enjoying the food you prepare , because you can feel that your effort is really appreciate by some body .

but not much chance for me to cook d...... feel lonely to cook to my self......... i rather take away ......

drink some thind before i slp , hope it help la......

man not bad , girl dont like, the more bad you are, the more the girl love

pillow fight love it man....

i hope i can fly this baby

Chinese people always say that ......

i think it may be true also ,

that why girl like those guy that can ,

"surprise" and satisfies them.

going to be that ???

what even smoking , drinking , clubbing ,racing,fighting ??

for me may be drink , clubbing , racing , and flying only......

no really good in fighting , better dont try it first .

i poor than 16yr girl........

for 16yr girl thinking is more better than me ,

she even create her own website .( taylorlautnerfan.net)

for me 16yr time what i am doing ????

her thinking is so positive ,

that always help and advise me as well.

but for you all , won't really have chance to see her face on web ,

not even 1 heheheh.......

she told every 1 not to tag her photo ,

she afraid people will use her photo do silly thing .

but now day , posting photo into socially website is just like daily work d.

for me i don't care and mind you copy my photo ,

as long never hurt people i am ok for that d....

fly away......

feel weird , know where they are ? but dont know what to do ?

last time always want to meet but , no time or time crash ,

now day is too much free time to meet but ,

so funny or can say so stupid!!!! but the world is like that ,

the more you want , the more will lost ,

when u dont want , than it will come to you .

now almost every night i sleep at 3 some thing ,

just cant sleep roll here and there ,

that why i love to drink some alcoholic drink at night ,

it make me feel calm and tired ,

or feel slightly drunk much better lo.

finally i at ktn home again , tons of liqueur waiting for me to open.

thank for my sister fly here and there bring back so many ,

hai.... see the rack so heavy d, i help it reduce reduce the load la.....

go to make a cocktail soon.

hope have a calm night that all i want it now

release .............

what the low cloud !!! the petrol consumption like hell just 30min only 2 bar gone d.......

150??

cant even see in front d.....

angel ?? hope 2

x

today i just use 1hr35++min reach kl d........

the feeling is so damn nice , but may be last night don't sleep well so today keep

feel want to fall to sleep even i maintaining 150km/hr , i still feel sleepy i really afraid i fall to sleep so that why i drive faster but the bad news is the car top speed is 160 only when i enter 150 the car since don't want to move any more faster d........ at that speed i feel not thing compare with flying 120kt i feel that car is very slow so more the road keep up down left right make me feel very uncomfortable .

today some the visibility is so poor , i just have less than 1 km vis only , may

be last night rain reduce the temperature . any way for me now!! the first aim is bring this car to kl as soon as possible so i don't care so much d...... just continue pressing only ..........

very tired d........ hope tonight will have a good rest than tomorrow become F1 driver again hehehe..... just hope don't fine ticket later if not for sure i will get scold like dog d......

down again...... think silly thing again!!!!

sunway toll full of car but this not more my concent

just now pass by sunway , i think some silly thing again lo........ just pass there d.... than i start thinking silly thing again. i dont know why lo...... the feeling is totally different from last time d.... every time when i pass by there i feel happy and hoping but today just sad and sad only...... !_! i cant imaging that i almost cry out inside the car again !!!! but luck i manage to handle it lo......

that time and the moment some more we get lost in KL d...... i almost want to cry out lo..... darm lost lo...... lost in mind an in the actual world also . hai;.........

after a while finally we manage to find a way out , than mum say want go to fat crab to eat ........ the first image pops out almost make me cry lo...... hai .......... really really miss but hate the feeling d........ want to avoid and run away from this . confuses , sad , mood down to the bottom , frustrated ect.......

fannnn.................. dont think tonight will sleep well because without alcohol in my blood stream

let's talk about smoking !!!!!!!!!

good good 1 time smoke thewhole year cigarettes

till now i still dont understand why people will light a cigarettes ??

for better understanding , i just light once half and hour before . it taste suck , make my mouth and hand smell bad only. really dont understand why ?? for my opinion i think those smoker treat smoking as a habits only . because it does not bring any good feeling for them any more .

but why the world is so unfair ?? take in those smoke blow out from smoker is worst than light a cigarettes by your own . better stay away when people smoking .......... but inside a club , the smoke think till can lower down you visibility SO WHAT still FULL HOUSE every night . sound silly right ??? now day the education is much better compare with last time but i think the quality of education no more there d....... all is talking bout money and score only no more understanding just fucxxx EAT THE BOOK and vomit it out during exam .................

smoking wont help you on stress, it wont reduce the stress but it does do 1 thing for you !!!! pollute you lung that's what it bring to you tons of health problem .

say no to smoking . but you do can try once !!! but for me really taste bad up to you .

SORRY FOR HURTING U !!!!!!!!!!!!

TIME WILL NEVER GO BACKWARD , it mean we also should not look backward !!! . i just end a messy relationship dont care how hurt and how hard it bring to me the decision have to be make d...... i regret last time so easily than together back with her . Because it just create more and more fake hope to her and also my self . I never blame her and hate her d........ !_! sad is normal ok.....


for me i hate my self more than hate her doing some thing silly , first i never protect her nicely vice versa i am the 1 that hurt her the most and do left some thing on her that never be forget and clean it d........ till now even , she just around the corner of me i not really dare to call her out d... i know the more i meet her just will make my self feel sad and cry like now only ............

once start the over close relationship , it is hard to turn back . at least now i pretty sure i not ready for that yet i know i sure will tolerate again and do silly thing that i not suppose to do not even once . i just feel sorry for her , bring her to this type of situation .

i never be the good role model for her , i break all the rules i set. i am the stupid 1 to drug her innocent mind.......... now she do what even thing i just can watch and pray for her
sorry and hope she can forget me my litter angels